2007

时间像是被下了快转魔咒，再过十几个小时以后，新的一年又到了。 下午接过电话，然后睡醒了。 空气凝结着，希望时间也如此，不再放肆地流走，丢下我一个。 回顾这一年的点滴，就像是坐了一趟又一趟刺激的云霄飞车。 到达高峰的那一刹那，都还未来得及大喊却已经到了底点， 如此飞快，如此激动人心。 经过岁月的洗礼，我想我已一天一天地慢慢地变成和昨天不一样的大人。

曾经一个人独自生活，

曾经把地图上指过的地方踩在脚下，

曾经想要放弃背着那沉重行囊，

曾经以为自己回不来了，

曾经在夏天里喝下一个游泳池的牛奶，

曾经在10度低温的夜里开着空调吃雪糕，

曾经规划过不知何年何月才能实现的梦想，

曾经在悬崖边许下心愿，

曾经躲在羽绒被里尝试忘掉功课的存在，

曾经不管时差彻夜不眠地聊天，

曾经尝过幸福的巧克力，

曾经被谁感动到心悸过，

曾经因为落叶而悲伤，

曾经在大街上喊过笑过哭过，

曾经不断地起飞然后降落……

如今一切已经烟消云散，淡薄成模糊的轮廓，但这一刻自在的我，眼睛依然清澈。 新的一年里，我要更积极地生活，活在自己时间里的生物钟，我爱的人和我一样，要一起变健康，快乐，幸福。

新年进步啊大家……

日子淡淡风吹

终于有一年的平安夜，我如愿以偿地在家静静度过。没有火鸡更没有白色圣诞，只和家人静静地在Pizza Hut吃了一顿晚餐。我妈咪好像很欣慰似的，说今年真难得我会待在家过圣诞，我说我老了… -__- 在热闹的地方呆久了，我会脚酸加头晕。

午夜十二点，当我正回复讯息到一半时，才发觉电话没钱了，所以大家，如果我没有及时回复你的话，gomeneh... 然后，我静静地一个人看完了一系列完整版的《美女厨房》，就算大部分的都在youtube上看过了，但依然还是笑到我胃抽筋。郑中基的确十分十分的搞笑（我给他二十分满分^^）。想当年正经八百的他走实力派唱歌，还蛮不错听，因为我还曾经买过他的卡带 =p 现在，他竟然转型成为谐星,人生难料啊…

第二天的我一直静静地昏睡，直到客厅的闹钟敲了3下。
于是静静地吃了早餐以后，才想起我忘了在10点之前回电给秋妹，看着外头烈日当空，想到搭巴士的我，头又开始嗡嗡响了，看电影还是算了贝。zzz

整天下来，我都在阅读郭敬明的作品。偶然的机会下接触了他写的《刻下来的幸福时光》，淡淡的插图加上细腻的笔触，雕刻着纠结的青春时光，诠释着某某十七岁那年的幸福。 那么一瞬间，仿佛一切变得似曾相识，感觉与体会好像活生生地被那些轻描淡写的文字刻了下来。 我开始揣测这位作者郭敬明到底是谁，结果一查我便吓了一跳，原因他的生日和血型和我非常相近，生日差了两天。 再click入他的blog以后，我又被吓了第二跳。看着那些照片我就开始很不爽，顿时我有点失望，想着他本人为什么不敢现身，因为他的blog从头到尾都用了一堆美少男的照片，恶心呐！在我脑海里，作家就不外乎刘庸或倪匡诸如此类的外表，夹着眼镜ah pek的类型是跑不掉的啦！

结果！！我大跌眼镜（虽然没近视）！！因为相中的美少男就是作者本人 -

郭敬明 -______- 年馑23岁的他已经是一名作家，电影《无极》的小说就是由他改编的。无极我没看过，不知道好不好看；但以上作品和《岛》一系列散文就不妨一读，因为我很喜欢。

新的一年就近在眉梢，倒数还有4天就2007了，亏我偶尔写日期的时候还会写错2005 -__- 几天前，菲利丝突然问我，去年的新年倒数时在哪里？我……脑袋空空的，是用力想了数十秒才想起。我是开始善忘了，突然之间我感到害怕。怕的不是我在逐渐变老，怕的不是我在挥霍青春，而是如《刻下来的幸福时光》里说所的:

“以为不会被忘记的，就在念念不忘的过程里，被遗忘了。”

是这样的吗？写日志的目的也许就在这里吧！就是纯粹的与朋友分享生活点滴和纪录时光留下的轨迹。

今天，我终于读完了余华的《活着》。秉着书中注明是‘阿信介绍的’，就算开始觉得有点闷但还是把它读完。精彩的部分都在较后，读着读着我湿了眼眶。人活着的意义“是为了活着本身而活着，而不是为了活着之外任何事情而活着。”其凄凉程度，拍得住日剧《一公升的眼泪》，都是讲述着人如何生存在不同的困境当中，并且以第一人称娓娓道来一场又一场的人生悲剧。

前者的人物在经过了战争与文化改革后侥幸活了下来，但他的亲人就一个个地死去，最后剩下他一个孤独终老；后者的高中生角色改编自真人真事，在花样年华的十五岁那一年，她发现她得了不治之症。就算家人都没把她放弃，但坚持到最后，不能言语的自己依然得放手离开她心爱的人，死在最繁华的时刻。 是乐观态度也好，是命运弄人也罢，我想我要是走进故事里去，我并没有这股勇气继续苟活于这个世界上，死了还可能比较心安理得。但以他们而言，活着其实比死去还勇敢一百倍。

生命既脆弱且不由我们去控制，也许下一刻，世界随时沉没，就像水灾或地震突然来袭一样，总是估计不了。

日子既使淡淡风吹，活在当下的我们，还有心跳。

为了自己而活着，其实比谁都勇敢。

冬至快乐

冬至又到了，这天大家不外是吃吃汤圆，在家团圆拜神做大日子，我家也不例外哦！只是我爸还在外地公干，要等到农历新年才会回来 =( 不过在冬至的前一晚，我家一样热闹，因为我家的肥瘦双宝一早就吵着要搓汤圆，他们说要搓很多骰子aka: a dice with the number 1-6 on it... 我汗 -_-ll 我想他们应该很久没有玩masak-masak了,真的很像我的小时候呐...
汤圆有红的白的，一粒一粒排开，很可爱~ 骰子做不成了,做出了一个很哀怨的smiley face.我妹说吃到的人会很lucky,我说很unlucky才对,因为那个smiley face煮熟了,一定会很恐怖,然后找那个吃了它的人报仇...choi!! hehe... 然后呢,她又在白色汤圆里面包了红色的汤圆,吃到的人还是会很lucky的,据她说.我汗..........

半成品

在我的巧手之下大功告成!

时间会将思念拉长,我想头发也一样... >_<

*听说冬至以后,日照会一天比一天长,黑夜会逐渐的变短,白旭的光阴开始变长.

虽然这好像与我无关,但也只是顺便告诉大家罢了,特别是如果你还身在国外的话.

当天空顶着的黑夜开始变得不再漫长以后,我想回家的那一天也应该不远了.

祝大家冬至快乐,世界从此没有水灾,和平安康.

3 days away from X'mas

年末将近，我难得去看了我麻麻地喜欢的一场演唱会。会说是‘麻麻地喜欢’，是因为我不会喜欢到自己掏钱包买票入场，那是免费的。谢谢Jiro和Reikko的免费票！嘻嘻，菲利丝恨我的呢，哎...蔡依琳会很感激你这种支持她的歌迷！=p

顶着细雨，老天爷终于在开场前一小时停雨，放晴天空。当时的我病着，豆沙的声音加苍白的脸，令我想起N年前，我去看陶吉吉的首场演唱会前的情况---一模一样。难道是天注定我跟演唱会就是没有缘分？哼... 我唯有默默地在心里和他一起合唱，还有默默地呐喊，安哥！！


看后感：我想我是在看着别人看演唱会吧，你看我们离舞台多么的遥远~ 蔡依林的真人就像一粒豆的大小，看着大屏幕才看能稍微看清她的模样，可悲... 我发誓，要是下次要看演唱会，我要不看贵的，要不我索性不看好了，在家看电视...

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在Sia飞往意大利之前，他突然心血来潮说要玩大富翁与我们告别，哈，告别是乱说的。虽然挖出了我封尘已久的大富翁，但最终因为时间以及少数服从多数的关系，我们玩了Jenga和heart attack.只有我们六人，菲利丝，春春，Bawang, Sia，我和我弟，输的最惨的竟然是：

无奈春春与我家小小圣诞树，呵呵呵！

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某天，约了牙医做定期检查的我，在等待的同时兴致盎然，到楼下发廊剪了个所谓的新发型... 剪了以后，我有种莫名不想出去见人的感觉。所以见到我就别谈论我的刘海，因为我是. 伤. 心. 的....

让我的圣诞和新年在家静静度过吧大家。

蝴蝶来过这世界

感冒蔓延了一个星期又四天，医生看过了，药也吃完了，就这样我每天熬着。即使皮肤再烂再丑，尽管自己再累再无力，我实在不愿待在家里多一刻，我想我休息够了。 回忆上一次的感冒，已经事过三个月，但记忆依清晰。记得当初病得最重时，除了发烧伤风咳嗽，我还是半聋听不见的，都是搭飞机那气压惹的祸。于是我答应了同伴们我会好好呆在家里吃药，睡觉，休息，但最终，不安分的灵魂依然冒着细雨，独个出走。

秋天已凉的午后，伦敦街头依然喧哗热闹，人流始终不减。坐在双层巴士上，再次经过的泰晤士河的景色美不胜收。虽然比不上布拉格的古典美，但繁华都市窜流的文明气息，始终让我暂时忘了自己正病着。下了车，我就依靠着仅有的一张地图和淡薄的记忆，没有目的地的开始在街头游走。就算是上个星期前走过很多遍的那条回家的路，路痴的我时而还会走错。

路过的人群事物，都让我目不暇给，若是待在家里，实在太对不起自己。大街上，艺术学院的学生们在玻璃窗柜里表演‘活人洗澡’，略带羞涩的男演员只敢望着墙角；地下道，女生独自一人深情的演绎着高音的歌剧曲子，没有伴奏地如此纯粹；小巷里，手握拐杖的老婆婆停下脚步，向站在街角抽泣的女人问道“Are you alright?”，女人扁着嘴但仍然默默的点头，拭着眼泪然后离开。 在这繁杂绚烂的城市里，每个人都用着不同的方式去生存着，所有的故事好像都从这里开始，漫延开来。

走着走着，我又来到了博物院，梦寐以求的‘美女与野兽’图书馆就在这里。开心兴奋过后，开始觉得梦幻破灭，童话故事也不过如此而已，世上并没有美女与野兽般浪漫的伟大爱情故事。所以这次我选择只在那花园歇一歇脚。天很高很灰，微风悠悠吹来，带着淡淡的青草味，心也跟着凉了一些。

吃完了一块巧克力以后，天空开始飘起绵绵细雨，只有一些好像我这样无聊的人留下而已。 雨很细，天很冷，我在明信片上小心翼翼的刻写着一些祝福语，虽然还没寄出，却先感动了自己。忘了时差，我忍不住拨了几个没人回应的电话，但最终接通了。这种距离往往让人有不能呼吸的感觉，温热的手掌也因此而顿时冷却了。电话那头，传来了熟悉的叽喳声，即使眼睛充满了泪水，但却能让我嘴角继续上扬。 回家的前一夜，我觉得自己变得轻盈了一些。

回忆着逝去却依然怀念的时光，

依恋平行线在季节更迭时交错的日子，

美丽的蝴蝶的确来过这甜暖的世界。

...我期待着自己不药而愈。

ill kid

always hope that i'd be a lil stronger, but i'm falling sick again... =( All this started off so suddenly after I had myself a good 2 hours of playing badminton before jumping into the pool half an hour later and then I pandai-pandai finished up an extraordinary spicy nasi goreng kampung, cause I was too hungry... As you could imagine, the agony i then suffered was of course the burning throat and also shivering all through the night. -_-

On and off feeling feverish for a good 2 days. One day of which I got to help out for an event for my part-time job, plus the rainy day, all these just worsen my sickness. The next morning, I was totally engulfed by the cold and my Mom are having a sore eye sight seeing me coughing and walking around like a live vampire, so she drove me to see the doctor, which I didn't feel like going before that.

The family doctor of mine is the kind of detailed and patient person, which is good but meaning SLOW... for times when I got sick, I'd rather go to see other doctor instead of waiting to see him 'Tortoise Doctor' which always feel like taking ages. But today, I have the time or I shall say my Mom had the time as she chose to drop me to see the tortoise doctor.

47 was the number I got when the nurse said the doctor was consulting the patient number 42, hmm... not too bad la, only 5 more to wait and the nurse asked us to come back in 30 minutes. Well, I took the 30 minutes to have breakfast and then, went back there to wait for ANOTHER 45 MINUTES for my turn, all in all we've been waiting for more than an hour there. To my surprise, this clinic has no magazine, except the medical brochures, and so the time was even more dragging, every second was crawling by so so slowly.

Mom was very impatient as usual, keep going to counter to check out and then came back there sitting opposite of me, nagging as usual that I shall come myself la, why so slow la... etc. BUT STILL she was there with me, accompanied me. As she knew, I'd rather stay sick and not going to see doctor if I were to go alone. =p

Taking a glimspe at the old folks and her daughter sitting next to me, it seemed as if I were looking at my Mom and myself, the older us, the future us. Speechlessly for that moment, I was so touched and a surge of sorry arose from the gut to my eyes. For so long I didn't stay and look at my Mom thoroughly, out of sudden I felt that she grew older with crinkler face and whiter hair after months that I didn't see her. I saw the tiredness in her eyes that I never tend to understand. I always ask for more, but never really think of what I shall give her back instead. Since long ago, I have been clinging on the incomprehension she had on me but neither will I try to understand her a little better..... I'm stupid. ='(

In time of chaos and apprehension, you will then realise: when you look at things you do not have in life, you don't have anything; but when you look at things you have, you have everything. =) I will get well soon...

fragile

睡梦中依稀见到陌生又熟悉的孩子
是黑夜还是白昼
是色彩还是黑白
雨点忘记了...
世界突然静止
是因为孩子不由自主地飘了起来
滑落地面的雨点
很安静地仰望着
让自己在嘀嗒声中
无声无息地淡掉 ...

始终,
迷糊的我守护不了泡沫般脆弱的梦境
忘记一些该记住的
记住一些该忘记的



请将我彻底迷倒
包装
空运到天涯海角

注:小心易碎

bruce lee is a malay

This afternoon, I had a very interesting and funny chat with this lil pretty girl of 10 over the MSN (really mou liu me... hehehe) This was the first time that we chatted and she started off telling me that she's having her holiday in Shanghai... and asked me where her sis (my friend Doreen) was while her status was put to be away... I repliedI dunno and she said Doreen was left in Malaysia, what's more with a pityful crying emocon ='( ........... lol* anyway, the funnier part is yet to come when I asked whether she had tried xiao long bao (小笼包）yet, and she answered the smelly chou toufu was all she had tasted so far. Then... I started off talking nonsense, haha... and telling her that xiao long bao is actually bruce lee's bao ( 小笼包=李小龙包) and it ended up with a conversation below:


walau... Bruce Lee is her classmate??? eye-rolled* hahahaha... I thought this lil girl was trying to fool me back by telling me Lee Xiao Long is not just her classmate, but LEE XIAO LONG IS A MALAY LA.... and siapa tau..........................................

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SULUNG LEE?!!!! za dou!!! I laughed till I got stomachache when I saw her replies! lol* Somemore in a sincere way she told me... lol* Akhirnya, dia benar-benar ada seorang kawan yang berbangsa Melayu dan bernama Sulung Lee... paiseh le cutie Adeline... hahahahahahahhahaha................

against all odd

never walk alone

This is it... epilogue unfolds after the retrospective month was over, after the jetlag, after so many sultry night, after the exasperation, after the smell of dryness faded, after the rainy season subsided, after the curt goodbye and the picturesque adventure.

I'm still a lil rough afterall, and I don't believe that one's destined to be ill-fated all through the life... thanks for being there for me, you know who you were. Life always continues and full of surprise...

the wake-up call

After a short-time of grieving, bumming around aimlessly, lazing every meaingful day with meaningless TV and internet............. I guess it's time, to pick up myself, move on, and embark on the journey getting myself a job!! It's time to ponder over which paths I shall head for, which route is more suitable for me? plunge myself into a strange field? am I ready for the mundane working life yet? shall I compromise my interest for the sake of getting higher pay? or perhaps, I'm still too young to talk about interest as in I don't even know where my interest is for now... ironic rambling i knew........... no matter what I can gain from the job or even the int, one thing that i can be assured of is that i won't get any loss from it. all experience counts, doesn't it? In the end, it's all worth it. Cheers...

so long, farewell

Looking back at the last update of my previous post, i then realised that i had almost abandoned my blog here... paiseh* since July =p despite the fact that i have quite a number of blogs to maintain, i had dropped out of updating blog all this while was because of... was i too busy or was my mind too empty to even scribble down some thoughts? i wonder too... 4 months time in Liverpool had just passed as if it never happened before....... here's some quick update for you~

For the very one last time, we had our dinner at 'home' together. We had cola chicken and seaweed soup at this chilly night, yet everyone just felt so warm to be gathered together again, eating, talking crap, watching TV, laughing and etc. It shall be the first time that this tiny kitchen was squeezed in around 20 of us and yea i'm not joking! haha!


August's Mathew Street Festival at Albert Dock!! Lucky me still be able to catch up with it out of the tight due date schedule with the other coursemates! What's more, the MSF's opening night featured classical music with live orchestra!!! Not that i love classical music so, but just like it more than the contemporary pop music! As you can see in the picture, they had also fused the pop with the classical, which was very interesting!! However, the drizzling rain was the major disappointment of all as the event had to be ended earlier, as the MC said, their instruments worth of 6 figures, so they can't risk continue playing and let the rain damped it. Yet, blessing in disguise, we got to see the fireworks earlier!!

Everything had happened so not in chronological... Sometimes, i just couldn't be bothered of what happen first lead to what happen next. Till I arrange my photos. I'll update you with my adventure in September. Cya!

alive not dead

i'm back. my body and my soul are all back. piece by piece. may you stay tune with me...

Scotland

What can I say... it's a tired, emotional, happy and meaningful trip to Scotland, with 18 other coursemates, 4 cars, 19 loafs of bread, 19 tupperwares... lol*... with a heart which headed towards a same destination - Scotland...

Before we can successfully depart, problems of renting enough number of cars occurred. At this very moment, it really tested our patience and maturity to sort things out ourselves. Finally, we all figured it out together and departed in the evening which was 5 hours later than the time we're supposed to leave. Anyway, as a slave of instant gratification, I was all happy and so much looking forward to this Scottish trip squeezed out of a 'holiday' weekend~ and it was all worth it!!

These were our cars stopping by at the roadside, so captivated by the scenery of the lakes along the highway.

And these were the lakes... unknown yet beautiful. It's just hard for me to take a deeper breath seeing these lakes worrying that it might disturb the mirror reflection of the sky. The serenity was priceless and it mirrored many of the greatest moments...

During the Scottish trip, I would never get bored looking at the fields stretching to the horizon as well as the fluffy sheeps. High up the sky we have stars scattered through the sky; and on the ground, we had these cute lil sheeps to adorn the green green grass! =) It will never be too late for you to appreciate the nature, the beauty of the flora and fauna and the ba ba black sheep...Guess the temper of this sheep wasn't really good! as you can see, his face was really BLACK!! gosh~~~

After spending a night in the city of Inverness, we headed to Tomatin, the whisky distillery:

Everyone of us had ourself a glass of 12-year-old Tomatin whisky... a glass as in just a gulp of whisky in a glass for us to taste and that little alone was enough to make us tipsy and get going to our next destination, the Loch Ness!!!!

Before we continued our journey, we took our group photo happily together!! =D

Finally, the LOCH NESS....................................................mystery and intriguing lake that once inhabited by Nessie the long neck monster.

Long long time ago, there's a guy called St. Columba is said to have seen the monster, better known as Nessie in this lake back in the 6th century. But until now, it hasn't been proven true of its existence... soooooo... do you believe so? that this monster is living or sleeping somewhere in this lake? I do believe that Nessie really does exist before, but also i think it has become extinct now. The logic is simple and it's just lie behind the outllook of the Nessie, you see, Nessie looks so much like its cousin from the Jurassic Park, the dinasours, so I bet their fate can't be too differed than to become extinct in the world. Anyway, before I left Loch Ness, guess who I met?!!!!

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Nessie appeared just to say Hi... scared me~~~ lol* =>

The following day, we went to John O' Groats, which is another sight in Scotland due to it's located at the most notherly part of the mainland Britain. The northestttt! yet it felt much hotter than in Liverpool... how to explain that?! haha...

Point of Stoer - for the last day of our trip. It's kinda emotional to be here in the first place, as some stayed in Inverness and some others insisted to spend a night in the cars to continue the journey to the ultimate Point of Stoer, and we made it!!!

the lighthouse at Point of Stoer

Look at these breathtaking view of sea and cliff... for a moment I'd wish my loved one is here with me, we'd be hermit and spent the rest of our life here, live happily ever after~ and bla bla bla... heee!

Last but not least, Edinburgh!!!

The windmills blew me a crisp breeze on the journey back and my mind felt oddly lucid out of sudden, that, I just had a dream in Scotland~

chester

after so much agony rushing for 2 assignments and 1 presentation in a week's time... phew! things are now over, (even more to come after this short break), we had a day trip to Chester on a super sunny day. Yea, 2 weeks ago the weather turned to be so HOT... extremely hot and dry! Even worse than Malaysia that you can imagine, there's no fan, no nothing in the room, and to top it up, the builders are sawing tiles everyday downstairs, for the stairs sake! My room is accumulating so much dust everyday even if I close the window. Anyway, in a better light, there are about 13 stair cases more to go, so I think I shall expect another 2 weeks of unrestful and dusty chaos...

okie, back to Chester, we all had so much fun, with all the coursemates and lecturers. For me, I almost near to complete the Chester Millennium Trial which emcompasses 40 must-visit achitectural buildings voted by local people, something like that :p

The most famous landmark in Chester:

the Eastgate Clock.

some says the views down there look like the France Village in Malaysia...

such an old clock, take picture is a must!!

wan jiun is kept hostage! haha...

~*~

Yesterday, I had a trip to Manchester with my housemates, but for now i'm very lazy to sort out the pic just yet, so wait la and next week, that'll be SCOTLAND trip!!!! ;) check out the pics soon tata!!

knockout match!

and England lost~ =(

and I'm actually a bit sad about it... had wasted my precious time of doing assingment (90min+30min+the penalty kick+walk from hostel to the pub === more than two hours!!), sitting on the floor that makes my butt sore, inhaling lotsa smokes in the pub that's cramp with all English except us, all gals and Asian! After all the hysteric shouts and support for England team, the match ended goallessly... OMG... very gan jeong in a way, before Beckham got injured and CRIED.. ooo... pity boy, and before Wayne Rooney got sent off, after that, the game is kinda boring! Deep down inside I knew they can't make it! Steven Gerrad has broken Fei Wen's heart ooo... But honestly, with all the disadvantages they have, the boys are playing very very well already, don't ya think so?

Anyway, quite a lot of English men cried after England lost, they cried!! omg... so pityful! one even fall crying in his girlfriend's arm, crying like a baby. Now I know how impactful world cup is for English, OR maybe maybe, the man has just lost 5,ooo pound in a bet, as my friend said, wahaha... In a positive light, I'm quite happy also, as I'm sure that the shops will mark down the price of the England jersey, yay~

Hmm... still haven't decided which team I'm gonna support for the final... haha!

at Rat and Parrot

Girls like football ok!!!! =D (lousy photography skill of the sexy passerby =p)