那首歌

121207, wed : gloomy_

6.40am_ 踏出公司的那个早上,天空比我想象中的还亮得早. 从镜子中望着一个22个小时不睡觉的我,差点认不出自己.

9.00am_拖着一个不属于自己的身躯,我开车出门. 浓浓的粉底加深紫色的眼影暂时掩盖了一切.我一直告诉自己,再忍多一下吧,一切都会过去的. 一路上太阳暖暖的照在脸上,我相信其中那3秒我是睡着的. 感恩我还活着...

1.50pm_接近尾声了,the last brand plan of all five,宛如戏剧般的我竟然夺门而出(从来没想过这句话可以运用在我身上-__-)因为终于,我忍不住呕吐...一切不愉快的,难过的,都让我用力地一次吐出,无比畅快...

..........什么时候才可以结束这样的日子,然后以孩子的姿态阔步向前走???..........

谢谢一直关心我,对我不离不弃的朋友 - 半夜送我去看医生的你, 一直叮咛我不可以一个人走去停车场的你, 陪我吃晚餐的你, 打电话说冷笑话逗我笑的你, 陪我一起失眠聊未来的你......我统统都收到了;

感激一路走来陪我加班,一起吃晚餐,帮忙我的同事们;

感激你感激我的老板lorraine,我从你身上学了很多;

还有一直不断鼓励我的哥哥;

最后,我的弟弟,妹妹,爸爸和妈咪... 没有你们我根本熬不下去,我不知道我还会在哪里...

3.00pm_我开始昏睡. 辛勤劳作后感觉的疲惫,其实异常快乐...(我是疯了吗?...zzz)


131207, thu : mc - a day of darkness_

停电的下雨天,在家里睡得非常安稳...

倒数着,还有两个星期,我就可以暂时逃离这个绝望的城市,回到过去,飞往一个陌生的城市,不去牵挂任何人.


141207, fri : tgif + where are you xmas? + rain rain rain_

期待非常的星期五终于到来,公司里陆陆续续添上了圣诞装饰,同事在我面对的落地玻璃喷了个雪白的merry x'mas =) 我开始感觉到新的一季即将来临.

很久没见了朋友. 我离场后再回来,一切好像已经面目全非. 感到无能为力之际,我什么也帮不上.

这是一个太多感情贯穿的年代, 你我他都受过伤. 我固执的认为,一个人最悲伤的时候,自然的你会忘了如何表达自己有多难过. 我不想同情谁或谁,我想你会懂的. 因为我还是站在你那里.


151207, sat : enchanted...

不经意的发现了这个消息时,我不知道我要如何说句话来安慰你...仿佛一个星期前,当表弟告诉我他外婆过世的时候...除了替他难过以及献上悼念,我都希望留下的人,伤心过后就更要好好的活着...

回想起当年,当我正经历着你所经历的一切时,我一句话也听不进去. 闭上眼睛,想着忽然离开我的外婆; 闭上眼睛, 脸上又湿了一大片...当时的世界只剩下眼泪...

希望你能真正休息好,走更长的路...

华灯初放的黄昏,我也好喜欢.

你是我的眼

Not that you need to know but I have a odd habit of repeatedly listening to song I like 9-11 for hundred times. 9 to 11 basically reflects the working hours that I'm leading now. Lately my favourite, 《你是我的眼》rendered by a very new and young budding singer in Taiwan林宥嘉.I'm really engrossed with it and I can't help. As the song title it means : you're my eyes, literally it tells a story of a blind man, the original singer and composer behind the song.


On a totally different note, not as frequent as nowadays that i'd pay visit to my hairstylist...once a month at least and have a rather mundane and unnoticeable trim each and everytime. At the end of the day, i think i changed a little with a new parting. It is not something to be proud of nor to be flaunted about, as it looks all unnatural and bald. Anyway, i believe that some good might have come of it. A change, for better or for worse, make you a more adaptable person to things which you think you couldn't get rid of, in fact you can really do it.


Already the weather is growing chiller with the rainy season arrived... It seems to me the zeitgeist has been passed for the longest time and with it I'm getting more and more deserted. Home turns into a hotel for me to eat, bathe, sleep... it is a vicious cycle. I was forced to put my foolishness behind and being left aloof. From time to time, I'm trying to find the strength within to stagger further. With my eyes pinch shut, I didn't smell the love in the air; I'm mute to any comforting words; I didn't show up and let you cry on my shoulder; I didn't comply to what I have promised... I tried to pretend that I'm careless to everything, I tried to pretend that I didn't feel hurt by these...


Fallen into one drinking spell to another, I listened to the sounds of muffled laughter of you people. Hats on and hair down, you move your body slowly to the pulsating dance floor, with the luring neon lights, smoke, rapidly emptying glasses and the hardcore party music, you were out of your mind for a while... Gazing mistily at myself from the reflection of the mirror. I realised that I'm one of you.


Here I wish you nothing but the best.


Merry Christmas...